LUDWIG Unit
by The Wammy Girl
Summary: Hello! All of us at HETALIA INC. would like thank you for purchasing your new LUDWIG Unit! Please read this guide to understand your LUDWIG Unit better. If you have any further queries, please don't hesitate to contact us!


Congratulations on purchasing your very own LUDWIG Unit! Please read this instruction manual very carefully to fully understand your LUDWIG Unit.

Standard Info About LUDWIG:

Name: Ludwig

Manufactured in Germany

Weight: ...He works out

Height: 180 cm (5' 10" est.)

Age: 20

Length: He went very quiet and sort of ran away when I asked...

Each LUDWIG Unit Comes With:

1 military uniform

1 workout uniform

2 boxes of paperwork

3 classical music CDs

5 Scorpions CDs

2 large volumes of classic literature (Be aware that inappropriate magazines are probably hidden inside.)

When opening your LUDWIG Unit, you must appear very pleasant and clean. LUDWIG Units are sometimes nervous when meeting new people, and put up an annoyed and intolerant front. If you play some of the classical music CDs at a low volume, he will soon be happier and come out of the box. If this does not work, try playing one of the Scorpions CDs at a very, very high volume (earplugs are advised for your protection if this method is taken).

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Modes:

Tsundere Mode: This is the default mode of every LUDWIG Unit. When in this mode, your unit will unintentionally act intimidating. A few other HETALIA Units, including the JAPAN Unit, can undo this mode; but we've found the FELICIANO Unit to work best.

Happy Mode: After warming up to you or other Units, your LUDWIG Unit will enter this mode. FELICIANO Units bring about this mode quicker than any other Unit, but also have a tendency to annoy your LUDWIG Unit if the FELICIANO Unit becomes bored.

Protection Mode: While your LUDWIG Unit is in this mode, he will become very affectionate, nurturing, protective, and sometimes even possessive of you or other Units. While in this mode, LUDWIG Units are known to hug, cuddle, and bake cakes. If your LUDWIG Unit becomes protective of another Unit (such as the GILBERT, FELICIANO, or RODERICH Unit), it might be wise to make use of a hidden camera.

Shy/Romantic Mode: This mode is often brought about by FELICIANO or GILBERT Units, though there is always the possibility of another Unit triggering this. Since LUDWIG Units are tsundere, they will be very shy; often going to great lengths to hide their true feelings. The best way to counter this is to have your LUDWIG Unit talk to a KIKU Unit. The KIKU Unit will, in most cases, give good advice and encourage your LUDWIG Unit to express how they feel. After this, it is often a good idea to invest in a hidden camera system if you do not already own one.

Sexy Mode: HETALIA INC offers an expansion pack for yaoi-oriented clients that can be purchased via our website. When applying this program to your LUDWIG Unit, there are two choices; seme and uke. Your Unit's initial programming will be for Romantic Seme, but can be changed to a Kinky Seme, a Sweetie Uke, or the popular Neko-Uke. As a seme or an uke, your LUDWIG Unit will most likely be compatible with a FELICIANO, GILBERT, or RODERICH Unit. But, as we have mentioned before, there is always the possibility of another Unit. This mode is only enabled by the purchase and installation of HETALIA INC's Yaoi Expansion Pack.

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Relationships With Other HETALIA Units:

FELICIANO: Highly compatible. LUDWIG seems to have a crush on FELICIANO, so he will most likely go into Shy/Romantic Mode, Happy Mode, or even Protection Mode. LUDWIG sometimes becomes agitated around FELICIANO, due to FELICIANO's laziness, cowardice, or pasta addiction. This often results in LUDWIG yelling at FELICIANO, causing the latter to go into Scared Mode. Your LUDWIG Unit might feel guilty about this later, so do your best to comfort him as well as the (most likely crying) FELICIANO Unit.

GILBERT: Mostly compatible. LUDWIG and GILBERT are brothers, but they do not always agree. WARNING: There is a possibility of incest between LUDWIG and GILBERT Units. They often go out drinking together, which can lead to an inebriated state of both of them. Depending on how drunk they are, you might either take pictures, have to transport them home, or both. GILBERT will call LUDWIG "West". While LUDWIG will pretend to hate that affectionate nickname, he really does like it (but only GILBERT ever calls him West). They will occasionally sleep in the same room or bed, just out of convenience. Again, we suggest a hidden camera system, easily and cheaply purchased on our website. (Note: On occasion, you might have to shelter or feed a few of GILBERT's pet birds.)

RODERICH: Mostly compatible. LUDWIG and RODERICH have lived together, and RODERICH is quite good at giving advice to LUDWIG. A deeper relationship than friends between these two is uncommon, but not totally unheard of. If a deeper relationship occurs, be prepared for ELIZABETA to attack LUDWIG. LUDWIG can sometimes become slightly annoyed with a few of RODERICH's behaviors, but will usually not speak on it in depth. If RODERICH is somehow talked into going drinking with LUDWIG and GILBERT, a camera is recommended. (Note: See above advice on going out drinking.)

KIKU: Highly compatible. It's unlikely that LUDWIG and KIKU will ever be in love, but we have been told of a few isolated cases. Like RODERICH, KIKU is good at advising LUDWIG and calming him. LUDWIG will, at times, be wary of KIKU because he cannot tell what he is thinking. However, LUDWIG's suspicion will fade with time. They will soon be good friends, and KIKU Units are often useful for calming down a situation.

ROMANO: NOT COMPATIBLE. LUDWIG does not get along well with ROMANO. They argue, often about FELICIANO, and sometimes engage physically (ROMANO throws nearby objects at LUDWIG until LUDWIG is forced to flee or retaliate). It is difficult to keep LUDWIG away from ROMANO, considering that ROMANO and FELICIANO are brothers. If LUDWIG has sustained injuries from a ROMANO Unit, tend to them and reassure LUDWIG that ROMANO will hate him less eventually. Remain optimistic, yet realistic; ROMANO will probably never warm up to LUDWIG.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Due to a recent increase in unwanted sexual encounters involving FRANCIS Units and various other Units (including LUDWIG Units), we are now advising you to watch your LUDWIG Unit carefully around FRANCIS Units. Try to remove your LUDWIG Unit from a situation involving a FRANCIS Unit if:

-FRANCIS has stripped down to nothing but a rose, or nothing at all.

-FRANCIS is intoxicated.

-FRANCIS is describing things of a very graphic nature and embarrassing your LUDWIG Unit.

And/Or

-FRANCIS is trying to abduct/attack/molest your LUDWIG Unit.

If anything inappropriate occurs between your LUDWIG Unit and a FRANCIS unit due to your negligence; be prepared for your LUDWIG Unit to hold it against you/glare at you/yell at you/go hide in his room and refuse to come out, or fall in love with FRANCIS.

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Cleaning:

Your LUDWIG unit prefers showers, and can clean himself. It is important to note, though, that the LUDWIG Unit will clean almost anything until it is spotless. Keep cleaning supplies on hand to avoid midnight trips to supply stores.

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FAQ:

Q: My LUDWIG Unit has been moping around the house, often with his hair mussed up. This is very unlike him. What can I do to get him out of his slump?

A: Your LUDWIG Unit is either not getting enough sleep or lovesick. Check to see if he is staying up all night doing paperwork, cleaning, or reading. If he is, reason with him and get him to go to bed earlier. If he is lovesick, try sending him to a KIKU Unit for advice and help him the best you can.

Q: My close friend owns a FELICIANO Unit, and has recently told me of a few problems our Units have been having. It seems that my LUDWIG Unit has been pulling on her FELICIANO Unit's strand of hair, and getting confused when her FELICIANO Unit gets embarrassed/aroused. I don't think my LUDWIG Unit knows what he is doing, how should I tell him?

A: First off, let your friend know that your LUDWIG Unit does not know what he is doing, and that you will have a word with him as soon as possible. Approach your LUDWIG Unit perhaps after he has finished his paperwork for the day, and calmly explain to him what the strand on your friend's FELICIANO Unit is. Do not dull it down; he will understand the scientific terms. Do not be surprised if he blushes, apologizes to you for no apparent reason, and/or calls your friend/her FELICIANO Unit to apologize (even if it is very late at night).

Q: My LUDWIG Unit is training much, much more than usual. Also, he has gotten careless in hiding his inappropriate magazines, I have found books about starting a relationship, and I found an unaddressed love poem when I was trying to find a spatula the other day. I have purchased no expansion pack whatsoever; is this normal behavior?

A: The HETALIA INC Yaoi Expansion Pack only enables yaoi actions; shonen-ai can be developed by the Unit itself. It can sometimes be seen as the Unit breaking their programming; if it is undesirable to you, please send your Unit to us and we will install a blocking chip. If your unit manages to overcome the blocking chip, we can do no more but let you keep the Unit and give you a full refund. However, if such emotions are welcomed or wanted by you, you might consider buying our Yaoi Expansion Pack.

Q: My LUDWIG Unit has recently become very possessive of me and one of my other Units (a RODERICH Unit). His possessiveness has gone to the point of not allowing us to go anywhere without him. He often takes my Unit and myself from our beds while we are asleep and moves us into his bed. He will interrogate anyone who comes near the door, even the postman. I have snuck off to email this to you, and he will probably find me soon. What should I do?

A: If your LUDWIG Unit can speak with a SLOVAKIA Unit for even a small amount of time, all your problems should remedy themselves.

Q: I don't think those exist. Is there anything else I can do? He's gotten much worse.

A: You didn't end with a question. Therefore, we cannot help you.

Q: WHAT? This is ridiculous! Stop making things up and tell me what to do! Please, I will give any amount of money to resolve this problem.

A: We are listening...

Q: ...Well? What should I do?

A: You should fill out form A-172, then send it to HETALIA INC headquarters in an envelope containing $190.

Q: No such form exists. Please help; I have barricaded myself and my RODERICH Unit in my bedroom with enough food and water to last a week. My LUDWIG Unit has been alternating between trying to pound the door down and sobbing. WHAT DO I EFFING DO?

A: Well, there's no need to be so rude. If you had just told us that he had been acting strangely from the start you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. We have rebooted him, and he will awaken with no memory of the past week in approximately 4 hours. We hope this resolves any and all of your problems.

Thank you for purchasing your very own LUDWIG Unit! We believe 100% that you and your LUDWIG Unit will get along fantastically.

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A/N: No one had one for my dear, sweet Germany yet! I did ask permission, though; the concept belongs to Pastalia!

Also, for those of you who don't know, Scorpions was the first heavy metal band from in Germany. It's really heavy... and really metallic.

Anyway... hope you enjoyed! I'll write more if you guys like this one~!


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